Footsteps…

Childhood has a strange way of preserving feelings long after it erases the details. The reason fades, faces blur. Yet, a hallway, a shadow, and a particular sound of footsteps can remain sharp for decades. Human memory apparently is run by an archivist who throws away the paperwork and keeps the ghosts.

As a child, I shudder still when I recall the endlessly stretching hallway where we lived, a tunnel of dim light and held breath. I thought I was small enough to disappear behind a half-open door, pressed against the wall as footsteps echoed closer. Each creak of the floorboards felt like a warning and I watched his shadow arrive before he did. The apartment seemed to hold its breath with me. I don’t remember why I was hiding anymore, only the feeling of the cold knot in my stomach, the silence between heartbeats and the certainty that being found would change something forever.

From the Writer’s Workshop: Talk about a time you hid from someone.

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Curiously Peeking…

We all get that restless, tingling sensation that pushes us to peek behind a curtain or over some wall, ask “why”, and embrace the uncomfortable beauty of not knowing which is curiosity at its best.

The most fascinating thing about being inquisitive is that such an action rarely operates in a straight line. It evolves into a tangled web of exploration, of rabbit holes, where one seemingly random question, like why do cats purr, can unexpectedly lead you to learn about things you never imagined; that curiosity can incite feelings about doing things over again, if possible.

This brings up the burning question about if there was the chance to do something all over again, and what it might be, would be to approach the traditional pursuit of knowledge with far less traditional reverence. A chance to avoid extensive research where a test, project or specific destination was involved might find any of us jumping on the “just for fun” bandwagon.

Personally, I would latch onto the freedom of allowing myself to study totally impractical subjects simply because I found them fascinating. Then, I’d acknowledge any and all “stupid” questions and lose the fear of looking foolish while asking the fundamental questions which unlock deep understandings rather than just playing along to avoid judgment.

In the end, when all is said and done, if I had a do-over, I wouldn’t change the depth of my curiosity, rather just the freedom of it, allowing it to wander further, like a drunken sailor, untethered from mundane conventionality, into the great unknown.

From the Writer’s Workshop: Write a post inspired by the word curious./Write a post in 8 sentences./If you could do it over again, what would it be? What would you do differently?

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“Aha” moments.

What honestly inspires me to be better? Good question, let me dig deeply for an “Aha” moment.

I’d have to say that It’s a mix of seeing someone absolutely crush a project, watching a puppy learn to navigate stairs, and that overwhelming feeling of peace when the desk in my home office is actually clean. All summed up, I’m guessing this isn’t all that impressive but, it’s kind of like the “butterfly effect” of small actions, you know? A pleasant email or text message, a ten-minute walk on a sunny day which makes me want to stop being a human-doing-nothing-productive and move my ass to start being a human-doing-decently-well. It’s about being in the right place, right this very minute, and realizing that me in the future is just me in the present, only with fewer excuses. Sound like a plan?

Since you asked (or subtly suggested) here is my very personal and lighthearted “Do More Often” proclamation for self-improvement:

1) I need to drink more water, mainly because of CKD (look it up) and that hydration helps with that as well as making me feel like a functioning adult instead of a wilted houseplant.
2) I need to smile, even when it’s fake and choose positivity and trusting that it works out, even if my cheeks hurt.
3) I need to take a “Tech Sabbath”; one Saturday or Sunday without my phone so that I can prove I can handle reality. (Trust me, this one will not be easy.)
4) I need to read physical books. My phone is for scrolling and my brain deserves better than seconds of YouTube or IG.
5) I need to stop in the middle of the road and help a turtle. I’ve done it before, highly recommend it, advise everyone to do the same. (Just watch out for the asshole drivers in both directions.)
6) I need to unsubscribe from emails (we ALL do) and declutter my digital life.
7) I need to focus less on overcomplicating simple decisions. Let’s face it folks, spending 30 minutes picking out something I do not need (but want) on Amazon just isn’t productive.

And, in the “Do Less Often” column:

1) Stop explaining myself to people who misunderstand on purpose.
2) Stop eating emergency” snacks, something we ALL do, don’t deny it.
3) Stop checking my phone in the first 15 minutes (or less) of waking up.
4) Stop pretending that I can multitask. (I cannot, and now my coffee is cold).
5) Speaking of coffee, stop thinking “Do I really need another coffee?” and just make it.
6) Stop re-reading that awkward text I sent back in 2019.
7) Stop waiting for perfection before I finish a project.


It all sounds so very plausible, doesn’t it? At least, that’s what I keep telling myself, as convincingly as possible. From this point forward, I will listen to my inner critic and stop listening to that dramatic little voice in my head. I will remember that I’m a person, not a computer, stop trying to always multitask because I’m currently burning my imaginary toast.

It’s all about trying to be a better me, one step at a time. I just hope I don’t trip.

From the Writer’s Workshop: Write about something that inspires you to do better. List seven things you need to do more often, and seven things you need to do less often.

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